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  GUILTY LOVE

  A Dark Billionaire Romance

  Adrian Stark

  Jacob Allen

  GUILTY LOVE

  I thought I was getting the hang of it.

  But since that night in Andrew’s bed, keeping things professional has gotten a lot more complicated,

  Especially when that job involved planning romantic days out around the most beautiful spots in Europe.

  I can’t just quit. I need this job if I want to go home happy.

  I know my place in his world;

  I make his schedules and sort through admin.

  Someone like me never stood a chance with Andrew.

  And I was just starting to get over him,

  but then he became so gentle and sweet,

  nothing like the man I thought I knew.

  And now he’s invited me to be his guest at a glamorous ball in Barcelona…

  Does he feel the same way after all?

  Or is this strictly business?

  Contents

  Chapter 1

  Chapter 2

  Chapter 3

  Chapter 4

  Chapter 5

  Chapter 6

  Chapter 7

  Chapter 8

  Authors Note

  © Copyright 2019 - All rights reserved.

  It is not legal to reproduce, duplicate, or transmit any part of this document in either electronic means or in printed format. Recording of this publication is strictly prohibited and any storage of this document is not allowed unless with written permission from the publisher except for the use of brief quotations in a book review.

  This book is a work of fiction. Any resemblance to persons, living or dead, or places, events or locations is purely coincidental.

  Created with Vellum

  1

  I barely had time to hold my breath before freezing cold seawater crashed into me and I stumbled backward, legs buckling against the force of the waves. I could feel Josephine’s hand in mine, struggling to keep us both upright, and I twisted as best I could to keep my feet under me.

  My head was pounding, water pushing down on my chest like an anchor. My head was spinning, and I was aching to take a breath. So I did, mouth opening the tiniest bit to suck in oxygen. Water pushed its way down my throat and I could feel it fill my lungs, stabbing at me like an icy dagger. My eyes were clamped shut but Josephine had me in an iron grip, grounding me.

  When the water finally parted again, I gasped for air, eyes burning as saltwater trickled down my face. I looked around. We were still standing on the third deck; the water had receded back over the sides of the boat. I looked back at Josephine, relieved to see she wasn’t hurt — just soaking wet. She looked terrified; Her eyes were squeezed shut tightly. I started stroking my thumb across the back of her white knuckles.

  “Josephine?” Nothing. “Josie?” My throat felt raw, my lips dry. Josephine cracked one eye open and looked up at me.

  “We didn’t die.” She sounded shocked, and I couldn’t help the chuckle, more relief flooding through me.

  Our rooms were only a few feet away. As the waves reared up again, I dragged Josephine back along the deck and into her cabin, slamming the door shut just as more waves crashed into it from the other side. I dropped Josephine down on the floor by the bed and snatched the life jackets from the back of the closet on the other side of the room, pulling my own on and coaxing Josephine into hers.

  “Josie, let me do your jacket up.” She slowly lifted her arms from where they were wrapped tightly around her waist and let me slot the buckle into place. “Thank you. We have to stay here for a minute, okay? I’m going to figure out what to do.” Josephine did nothing to show me she’d heard a single word I had said. Her eyes were glazed over, gaze fixed somewhere over my shoulder, and she was shaking, arms wrapped tightly around herself. Her breath was coming in short gasps, her chest fluttering as she hyperventilated. Is she having a panic attack? Oh, God! What do I do?

  I could feel the panic rising in my chest and I pushed it down. This was not going to help her.

  “Breathe, Josie, you've got to breathe. Copy me.” Without thinking, I bought her hand up and placed it on my chest, breathing in and out as evenly as possible while trying to get her to match me.

  Her breathing remained ragged for a few more moments before it finally evened out. I smiled at her gently, and we breathed in and out for a minute. Once I was sure she was calmer, I let go of her wrist. However, she didn't move her hand. She still looked so scared; I wanted to wrap her in my arms and protect her from everything I could. “We have to go downstairs —” Josephine shook her head before I finished. “I know, sweetheart, but we have to go. We're not safe here.” The pet name seemed to catch her off guard and I tried not to think about how nice it felt to call her by it. She turned her head into my chest, shaking, and I lifted an arm to drape it across her slender shoulders, pulling her close. We were still soaking wet but I could feel the warmth from where she was pressed against me.

  Part of me didn’t want to move at all. We seemed safe here. The door and windows were sealed. We could just stay and wait for someone to come and get us. Water crashed against the window and my stomach dropped as a steady trickle of water leaked through the plastic and down the hall. Josephine’s freezing fingers curled around my neck and I know she heard it too. She nuzzled further into my side, her whole body trembling. My hand went to the back of her head, smoothing her hair down in what I hoped was a calming motion.

  I may be fine waiting out the storm here, but Josie clearly wasn’t. Chrissie probably had everyone else downstairs by now. It was definitely the safest place on the boat: under the main deck away from the water. I looked down at Josie and bit my lip.

  “We have to go,” I whispered. Thunder crashed right on top of us, a great boom that rattled my brain in my skull. Josie didn’t seem to hear me. I opened my mouth to say it again, but I heard her voice, muffled by my shirt.

  “I know I just — I don’t know if I can do it.” Her voice trembled, but when I looked down at her, she was looking back up at me — eyebrows furrowed in annoyance. “I'm just ridiculous.” She seemed angry at herself, her voice bitter with self-loathing. I shook my head quickly.

  “You are not ridiculous. If this was a cave or a narrow hallway, I would be reacting the same as you, probably worse, Josie, okay?” I wanted to tell her that she was brave, way braver than I would be in her situation and that there was absolutely nothing to worry about — absolutely nothing that would lessen my ever-growing opinion of her.

  Josephine nodded, and I smiled softly before climbing to my feet. I remembered the captain giving a speech on what to do in a storm … something about keeping low and a lifeline. I looked around. Josie’s room was a mess. Clothes and papers littered the floor, thrown around by the lurching of the boat. There was a heap of extra bed sheets on the ground that had fallen from the closet and I scooped them up, walking back to Josephine, who was watching me with a raised eyebrow.

  I shot her a grin and gestured for her to stand, winding the sheet around her waist until she was almost swaddled in the fabric. Once it was tied off, I wound the other end around my own waist, pulling the knot taut.

  “Now we won’t be separated,” I explained, starting towards the door. Josephine hesitated and then followed me to the door.

  “Oh, yay. Now, if you fall overboard, I’m going down with you.” She still sounded delirious, her words coming out slightly garbled but I laughed, relieved she felt at least a little bit better.

  Outside, the rain was coming down fast, pelting the deck like stones. Several of the railings were missing now and great waves were crashing over the side of the boat. I lead Josephine back towards the staircase, the sheet acting like a rope between
us by keeping us tied together.

  Each floor took what felt like an age to reach. With every step, I could feel myself slipping closer and closer to the edge of the boat. The ocean swirled below us in a tidepool and I pulled Josephine back when she leaned over to have a look.

  When we finally reached the lower deck, the door was thrown open and Chrissie’s anxious face peered out, her hair whipping around her face. She lit up when she caught sight of us and hurried to pull the door open. She instantly grabbed me by the collar and pulled us both inside.

  “Oh, thank God. Jesus Christ, I was so scared! Where the fuck were you?” She sounded so scared and I could feel the tears welling in my eyes. I pulled her into a hug, probably crushing her with how tight I held her.

  “We got stuck on the upper deck. Sorry to worry you.” Chrissie pulled back and looked behind me at Josephine, who looked nauseous and reached out to gently take her arm.

  “Are you okay?” Josephine was crouched over, arms around her middle and eyes wide. I dropped to my knees in an instant, running my hands over her shoulders and arms, up through her hair, and across her face.

  “Josie, we’re okay. We’re safe in here. Breathe, like before, remember? Just breathe.” A shaking hand reached up to press against my chest and I smiled. I tried to calm my own racing heartbeat and breathe as evenly as I could for her.

  After a minute or two, her breathing evened out, and Josie relaxed in my arms, exhausted. I shifted off of my knees, making sure she was comfortable before looking back up at Chrissie. “Is everyone okay?”

  Chrissie sat down next to me, leaning her head down on my shoulder with a sigh.

  “Everyone’s here, yeah. Richards’ keeping us away from the coast for now. He’ll radio in when it's safe.” She tilted her face up to look at me, and I saw for the first time just how worried she looked. “Are you sure you’re both okay?” I nodded, kissing her forehead soundly.

  “Shaken, but I’m fine. Glad you’re alright.” I settled back against the wall and looked down at Josephine.

  “Are you sure you can trust her?” Chrissie’s voice was soft, not wanting to disturb Josephine but there was worry lacing her voice. I sighed, remembering the phone call I’d overheard back in London.

  “You didn’t hear her, Chris. She needs this job, and there’s no way she even knows about the ProviderLives case.” As I watched, Josie moved in her sleep, head resting on my thigh and, without thinking, I leaned down and pressed my lips to her forehead.

  2

  By the time the captain finally radioed through to say that the storm had passed, I felt ready to rip my own hair out. Andrew was sitting a couple of feet away with Christine, the two of them talking quietly. His hand hadn’t moved from my thigh since we sat down, and the warmth of his fingers through my jeans was the only thing keeping me from scratching myself raw.

  I felt nauseous, sea salt and dread crawling across my skin as the boat rocked from side to side like a mother trying to console a crying child. I didn’t remember getting to the lower deck; the whole journey from my cabin felt like a disorientating dream. I hadn’t been caught out in a storm for sixteen years and the raindrops had felt like acid when they hit me, transporting me back to that day in summer when my mom had fallen overboard on a sailing boat and disappeared into the waves. Andrew’s grip tightened slightly and I realized my breathing had picked up again, coming in short gasping pants that hurt my lungs. I struggled to calm down, letting his hands on me ground me back to the present.

  He waited calmly as I struggled to remember how to breathe. I could feel every brush of his fingers on my thigh and, when I finally lifted my head to look at him, both he and Christine were looking at me with concerned eyes — though Christine looked away quickly when my gaze met hers. Andrew smiled a tiny, careful smile.

  “Are you okay?” His voice was so low and I wanted to throw myself into his arms and sob. But I was too tired. Instead, I nodded, wrapping my arms around my waist, feeling vulnerable and slightly delirious.

  “I’m exhausted.” I sounded weepy, but I didn’t care. There was a long hard cry in my future and nothing was going to stop it.

  Andrew nodded slightly and held out his hand.

  “I’ll walk you back to your room; we don’t get to Barcelona for another hour.”

  The yacht was a mess. It was a miracle to me that it was still able to float and I followed Andrew anxiously back up the three flights of stairs to our cabins. Several of the metal railings were missing completely, leaving cliff-like drops on every floor.

  The entire time I’d been freaking out, I hadn’t noticed how tired Andrew looked. There were dark circles under his eyes and his hair was disheveled, like he’d been running his fingers through it over and over. All I wanted to do was sleep, but Andrew was standing by the door, looking at me like he wanted to crawl into bed with me.

  “Are you sure you’re okay?”

  I want him to. The admission shocked me. I could see it so vividly in my mind. I’d pull him forward and down onto the sheets, cradling myself in his arms. I’d fall asleep to the sound of his heartbeat under my head and stroke my fingers across his chest.

  I meant nothing to him. Until the storm had hit, he’d done everything he could to not be around me. I was a mistake to him — a one night stand — and that was fine. I could handle that; I could pretend it didn’t make me feel dirty. But it was so hard when he was standing right there, acting so sweet and caring. I could feel myself falling, and it was only going to end with me on my own again.

  “I’m fine, Andrew.” I injected as much venom into my words as I could but I was too tired for them to sound anything but weary. Andrew stopped talking, face flushing and — oh, God, he looked so sweet blushing.

  “I’m sorry I just — If you’re sure then I’ll leave you to it then.” He smiled again, that tender smile that made his eyes crinkle up at the edges. He was still wearing the same wet clothes as before. He’d unbuttoned the first few buttons of his shirt, leaving a large part of his chest on view. I caught a glimpse of my reflection and winced. How did he manage to look so hot when I looked like a drowned rat?

  He turned to leave the room and I opened my mouth to ... what? Call him back? Ask him to come to bed with me? To forget about the fact that I work for him and tell me he wants me too?

  I let him go, climbing back into bed and burrowing under the covers. The rocking of the yacht was slowly calming down but my mind was too busy to let me sleep. The bed felt too big, too empty. It had never felt cold before but my brain was filled with Andrew. How he’d feel under my hands or how it would feel to wake up next to him. It was ridiculous. I don’t even know him.

  I blinked up at the ceiling. What did I know about him, really? I know he’s rich; anyone that can rent a yacht for six months at a time has probably never been short of money in his life. He had a sister that could have been a supermodel. He had been standoffish, cold, and stiff. But now I had this other side to consider. He could be sweet, endlessly so and, from other people’s opinions of him, maybe this was a side that he’d only chosen to show me ...

  3

  I sat on my bed and tried to ignore the growing feeling of loneliness spreading through my chest. It was ridiculous. Never in my life had I felt the absence of someone so keenly. I was used to being on my own — running a billion-dollar company allowed for very few days off, let alone time for dating. But one night in bed with Josephine and she was all I could think about — the feeling of her weight on top of me, the smell of her that clung to the bedsheets in my cabin which, I frowned at the realization, were now ruined by the storm.

  It was so confusing — feeling such a strong pull towards someone I had only known for what? A week? And yet, how she acted around me, like she wasn’t afraid of upsetting me. The way she always said exactly what she was thinking made me want to listen to her forever and hear her opinion of every little thing.

  Even her attention to detail was amazing; my hotel room in Barcelona, which was
across the hall from Chrissie’s and two floors away from everyone else, was clean and elegantly decorated exactly how I would have styled it myself. Affection swelled when I realized she must have paid attention to how the Luxe looked back in London.

  But if she paid so much attention to what I like and don’t like, then why was she so hesitant to spend time with me? I let myself fall backwards onto the bed, looking up at the ceiling.

  It was her who came onto me after all. So, why was she still so distant? Panic twisted inside me. Maybe she was embarrassed about how she’d acted?

  I wanted to reassure her there was nothing to worry about, but if she wanted to keep her distance, I should respect that. Even if the thought of not seeing her set my teeth on edge.

  There was a knock on the door and when I pulled it open, Chrissie came in and dropped down onto the bed. She had already showered, hair still wet and dripping.

  “By all means, come on in,” I said dryly. Chrissie raised an eyebrow at me and brandished the bottle of champagne in her hands.

  “Thought you might need a drink as much as I do.” I looked at the bottle and back at her.

  “I’ll get the glasses.”

  “Great start to the cruise, hey, Andy?” She looked at me from where she was, upside down on my bed, and I scoffed at her. “If you weren’t my sister, I would have fired you by now. Though it’s hardly a cruise, Dad’s probably loving it.” She laughed, rolling over to take another sip from her flute. “I’m just glad everyone was alright.”

  “He did sound particularly chipper on the phone earlier.”

  I couldn’t help but grin at the sarcasm in my sister’s voice. The next six months would be a lot less miserable with her. “So what’s with you and Josephine Miller, hmm?” I groaned. I knew she’d bring this up.